So Lonely

Psalms 25 v 16 to 18

16Turn to me and be gracious to me,
    for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
    and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
    and take away all my sins.

Loneliness is not the presence or absence of people, but is an attitude within the heart. Human beings were designed to enjoy companionship. In the Garden of Eden God made a Man in “our image”. 

Gen 1 v 27

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. 

Could companionship with God be sufficient? The answer should be yes, and this is even what our Psalm is pleading for in verse 16, but even God realised that more than this was needed….. and so He created the women. 

Genesis 2 v 18

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.

Today we have parents, brothers and sisters, families, spouses, friends, colleagues, fellow supporters of our favourite football team, or participants in the sports which we enjoy so much. So many opportunities to be with people, and yet, in the midst of all this, we can feel so alone….

The COVID 19 lockdown rules, might have added to this, or perhaps they have released us from the normal hectic social lives to focus more on family, the people closest to us, and God. 

• How has it been for you and are there lessons we can learn?

For me, it is certainly a mixture of both. It has been great to be able to spend more time with my wife and daughter – Harriet and Chantal – and to enjoy chatting and watching TV of an evening instead of rushing from work to a church meeting or a drama practice, both of which I love doing so much, but they do make life rather non-stop. But God in the Psalms tells us:

Psalm 46 v 10

Be still and know that I am God

And as we look to Jesus and His example, we also see him often with-drawing to quiet places, where he could be alone, after a busy day of ministering to 100’s, if not 1000’s, of people.

Luke 5 v 16

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

To be “alone”, to take yourself to that place where it is just you and God is no bad thing – it is actually a highly recommended practice, but it is not in God’s plan for you to feel LONELY. I almost chose Psalms 68 to be the focus verses of our thoughts today, but God told me to use Psalms 25. Psalms 68 does have these lovely and well know words in it though:

Psalms 68 v 5 – 6

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. 6 God sets the lonely in families

As a Christian these are great words to contemplate when we are feeling lonely. I did just this when I lost a very close friend in her late 20’s. She had great faith and a certainty that she was in God’s loving hands whatever might happen to her, but when she was taken to receive her heavenly reward, all of us who remained felt very lonely. I withdrew to a lonely place, to be with God, to be still before him, to pour out my deepest thoughts to Him…. Yes my disappointment about what had happened…. and in this place of being alone with God, the loneliness, was replaced with that fatherly love, that knowledge that He is God and all is OK. The reality of Psalms 23 was so strong.

Psalms 23 v 4

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Is anyone else reading this a teenager in the late 1970’s and remembers bopping around to the wonderful rhythms of the The Police? I am useless with remembering or listening to lyrics, but the words are repeated so many times in the songs chorus, I remembered their release of 1978 – “So Lonely”. I am not sure if you are allowed to quote a pop group in a sermon, but I guess it is OK if the words have some relevant meaning and in this case I think they do, at the least the verse which says:

“Now no one's knocked upon my door, For a thousand years or more
All made up and nowhere to go, Welcome to this one man show

Just take a seat they're always free, No surprise, no mystery
In this theatre that I call my soul, I always play the starring role

So lonely, So lonely, So lonely, So lonely……..” 

But is this the case for you and I as Christians? Is there no one interested in us, in what we are doing, in what we are saying, in what we have to give, the joys and sorrows that we have within our hearts? As Christians, that “free seat” in our heart is never empty and we have no need to play the staring role, because we are just one part – a lovely and important part albeit, which is the Body of Christ.

Rev 3v20

I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

Loneliness is real and if you are experiencing severe loneliness, and associated negative thoughts…. and your prayers and Bible study do not seem to be breaking through this ….. then please reach out to any of the leadership team or prayer team at KIC Lubowa, or any other trusted and wise Christian friend, and share your loneliness issues with them. It is nothing to be ashamed about! It is an issue that is tackled many times through the Bible and is an all to common reality in an over-crowded world. But that said, I hope we can all find some solace to our loneliness though reading scriptures such as our focus Psalm of today:

Psalms 25 v 16 to 18

16Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. 17 Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish. 18 Look on my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins.

Questions to ponder:

• Have feelings of loneliness been more or less of an issue for you during this Corona period?

• Where is that lonely place you go to, to be close to God?

• What are 3 practical ways in which you have addressed loneliness in your life?